Just when you thought that "Rapid-Fire Appearances" was down for the count, it gets up off the mat and starts pinning down "MADtv" cast members left and right. The scandalous, soy milk-fueled orgy that ensues is this recurring Front Page News feature, for which virgins may require a brief explanation. Basically, "Rapid-Fire Appearances" cuts through most of the journalistic fluff in order to bring you several of the latest television and film appearances by "MADtv" cast members and alumni. In other words, if you like plain folks' talk without all that big-city, fancy-schmancy language to clutter things up, then read on, my couch-spud friend. Shoot fire, what are we waiting for, partner? Let's fire up this dadgum rodeo!

If you need a reason to watch Eddie Murphy's latest comedy film, Meet Dave (released on July 11th), then perhaps an appearance by "mustachioed grunt" Pat Kilbane will whet your appetite. As this movie review informs us, Pat's character, a crew member from the planet Nil -- oh, the easy jokes I'm suppressing! -- apparently "turns gay" after watching A Chorus Line. He and the film's other main characters, including Eddie's, are minute explorers from Nil. Their transgalactic mission is to steal Earth's natural resources so that they can save their tennis ball of a planet. At any rate, if the idea of stereotypical humor at Pat's expense seems endlessly appealing to you, then be sure to catch Meet Dave before theaters render it, well, nil. Special thanks go to MADfan2004 for bringing Pat's literally and figuratively miniature role to our attention.

While you are scanning the theaters for Pat's movie, go check out Bobby Lee in Pineapple Express. Yeah, yeah, I can hear your moans and groans already, you sad sacks. However, as this review makes clear, Bobby's performance may well be worth checking out. The film itself centers around a couple of stoners (Seth Rogen and James Franco) who unwittingly find themselves in the middle of a drug war. Bobby's character, who just so happens to be named Bobby himself (so much for originality), shows up toward the movie's climax as an assassin from an Asian gang. According to the review, his performance is -- dare I say it? -- hilarious. Obviously, you will have to see the movie in order to judge for yourself. Pineapple Express opened in theaters on August 6th, so you should still have time to catch it before it wastes away into the hallucinogenic land of DVD. If you want a glimpse of what I assume is a fully clothed Bobby, then take advantage of this rare opportunity while you still can. You'll be so wasted, dudes. Special thanks go to nick for bringing this one to our attention.

Are you looking for some Keegan-Michael Key TV comedy that has nothing to do with "MADtv" itself? Then get ready to feast on some "Chocolate News"! According to the information found here, the series will star David Alan Grier in a fake news program that will serve up the news from an African-American perspective. Keegan himself is scheduled to play Woodsy in at least one episode. If we assume that Keegan's character will be a hit and that "MADtv" will permit him a little moonlighting, then we may be fortunate enough to catch him on several other "Chocolate News" episodes. Still, if you know the adage regarding assumptions, then you know that a two-microsecond cameo is the more likely scenario. Whatever the case may prove to be, keep a brown eye open for Keegan when "Chocolate News" premieres October 15th on Comedy Central.

Credit Mike Judge for continuing to keep David Herman gainfully employed. The good word -- or should I say "goode word"? -- from Zap2it is that a new Mike Judge animated series, "The Goode Family," will contend for midseason placement on ABC. If the series makes the cut, then expect David to voice Ubuntu Goode, just one member of an environmentally, politically, and socially aware family. Naturally, the Goodes' efforts often meet with hilarious consequences; after all, who could possibly pass up an opportunity to make fun of damn, dirty hippies? Therefore, if you would like a cartoon glimpse into my college days -- don't be hating, you capitalistic fascists! -- then "The Goode Family" might just do you some, well, good.

Those who were wisely betting that the ubiquitous name Orlando Jones would pop up somewhere in this "RFA" edition may now collect. The Big O now makes his omnipotent presence known in Cirque du Freak. If you were also betting that I would provide you with a helpful link to an article discussing this fantasy film, then congratulations on your early retirements, you capitalistic fascists:

"CIRQUE DU FREAK is about a young boy named Darren Shan, who, after attending an illegal freak show with his best friend, decides to become a vampire's assistant in order to save his best friend's life. Forced to leave his home and family forever, Darren joins the freak show, where he meets a host of bizarre creatures and finds himself at the center of a war between the vampires and a rival clan."

Although I do not know exactly how Orlando's Alexander Ribs, fits into this craziness, I can confirm my inability to say his character's name out loud without experiencing fits of laughter. (I'm strange like that.) Expect Cirque du Freak to show its fangs in theaters some time in 2008.

Can Josh Meyers figure out How to Make Love to a Woman? With some help from silicone goddess Jenna Jameson, who plays her silicone self in this indie romantic comedy, Josh's character (Andy) will almost certainly find the answer. Once again, I find myself wondering if I should sue the scriptwriters for copyright infringement. After all, Andy's inability to satisfy his girlfriend (hence, the need for Jenna's advice) is certainly a swiped reference from my never-to-be-published autobiography -- that is, minus the never-to-be-realized opportunity to investigate Jenna's oversized fun bags up-close. Well, while I contemplate my potential lawsuit, read this article for more information on How to Make Love to a Woman, which is slated to bounce into theaters before year's end.

Are you an Andrew Bowen fan who has vowed to jump headfirst off a skyscraper if he appears in one more frigging TV commercial? Then perhaps Andrew's lead role in the indie thriller Conjurer will cause you to think twice about that free fall into cement. As luck would have it, there is even an official site for this movie, which has already won an award for best horror film at the Action on Film International Film Festival. (Stick that in your Oscar and smoke it.) Andrew's character, Shawn Burnett, moves into a haunted rural farmhouse with his wife, all the while dealing with a "ghostly presence" that "manifests itself in increasingly deadly ways" -- but enough about Andrew's Keanu Reeves impression. (Don't applaud, folks; just throw credit cards.) Seriously, though, Conjurer looks quite promising, as a glimpse at the trailer (available on the aforementioned site) will show. "Oh, it's just a lead role in an indie film," you say. Okay, hot shots, what have you ever starred in? Uh-huh, I'll tell you what, you cynical, capitalistic fascists: if you are lucky enough to catch this film when it hits theaters before year's end, then see if you can do any better. Or you can just ignore my pretend insult and see the film anyway.

Are you one of the myriad Nicole Randall Johnson fans who have been wondering what your favorite Darrell and Ka-Son portrayer is up to these days? You can find out on November 14th when the ironically titled comedy film Role Models is released to theaters. The film's plot, as detailed in this article, involves two salesmen (played by Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott) who trash a company truck while under the influence of energy drinks, of all things. (Ah, those were the days!) To avoid prison time, the two "role models" agree to join a mentorship program, which turns out to be almost as much of a headache as the lingering possibility of hard time. Somewhere in the middle of all this havoc, NRJ herself pops up in the role of Karen. Although I cannot find any information on her character, I am inclined to believe that she might be one of the "annoying do-gooders" from the mentoring program. It's just a hunch, though; so do not quote me on that. Anyway, if you find yourself needing a Nicole Randall Johnson fix, then consider Role Models your "dealer." You'll be so wasted, dudes. Oh, never mind -- I've already used up that brilliant joke.

Finally, if your lifelong dream is to see "MADtv" alumni Kathryn Fiore and Daniele Gaither in the same movie, then consider your low-expectation-riddled existence fulfilled after viewing the thriller Necessary Evil. Seriously, though, as this plot synopsis indicates, Kathryn's role of Deborah Fielding is what we in the news business would refer to as a "biggie":

"Locked inside Edgewater Psychiatric Institute is a deep, dark secret. Deborah Fielding, budding investigative journalist, holds the key.

Nothing can prepare her for the Pandora's box she's about to open.

Following a trail of eyewitnesses, missing persons, and anonymous tips, Deborah will stop at nothing to uncover the truth, even if it means confronting the demons from her past.

Deborah's journey plunges her into a supernatural spider web of intrigue and corruption leading to the highest echelons of power."

Daniele's character, Gail, appears to be far less significant than Karen's, although her fans may consider the opportunity to see her in anything post-"MADtv" reason enough to check out Necessary Evil. I cannot say that I share your enthusiasm, though. Sorry, but with all due respect to the lovely Ms. Dani, if I'm shelling out eight bucks to see one of these two ladies on the big screen, then Blondie gets my vote and fantasy lap dance every time. At any rate, if your upcoming New Year's Eve plans are as uneventful as mine, then you may want to hunt down this "evil" movie when it makes its scheduled Decemeber 31st debut in theaters.

At long last, we have reached the end of this long, bumpy road of "Rapid-Fire Appearances." Even though the wheels on our used jalopy are worse for the wear, we take comfort in knowing that several "MADtv" cast members and alumni will be entertaining us in the months to come. Until we enlighten and frighten you again, you capitalistic fascists -- thought I was done with that slur, huh? -- remember to stay tuned for more "Rapid-Fire Appearances"!

After hearing Frank Caliendo's comments about the show recieving a revamp this season, I decided to try and find out what this meant for myself. Here's what I got from an undoubtedly reliable source:

1. There will be no new castmembers. This season, MADtv is sticking with a smaller group of 10 so that everyone gets fair air time, and nobody gets "forgotten" like Frank and Daniele did last year. This doesn't mean there won't be any new featured players joining the show later in the season, but for now, there are none.
2. Speaking of Frank and Daniele, they are the only castmembers leaving (apart from Stephnie). Frank Caeti and Nicole Randall Johnson have been promoted, and Arden is retaining her position as a regular. That gives us a cast consisting of Ike Barinholtz, Frank Caeti, Crista Flanagan, Keegan-Michael Key, Bobby Lee, Michael McDonald, Arden Myrin, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele and Nicole Randall Johnson.
3. As with last year, there is going to be more of a push for shorter sketches, and therefore more sketches per show. In addition, there will be more location shooting, which was noticeable last season and provided some variety. I just hope it doesn't mean an "adventure" sketch every episode.
4. Shooting starts tomorrow, August 21st.

I should be able to get the #1201 episode description from FOX in a week or two. Until then, this is all I got.

Thanks to my super-secret source for the information.

Season 12 is just around the corner, and as always, cast changes will be announced.

Frank Caliendo announced his eventual departure several times, so naturally, after 5 years on the show, he will not be returning for season 12.

Also, in a not-so-surprising turn of events, it appears season 11 was the last we will see of Daniele Gaither, as she has been let go by the show's producers.

So far, these are the only departing castmembers we are aware of. Other departures are said to be possible, but not likely, according to our source.

More updates, including new castmembers, will be announced when the information becomes available. Best of luck to Frank and Daniele in their future endevours!

Crista Flanagan and Daniele Gaither are two of the "celebrity" competitors in the upcoming "Celebrity Ladies First Golf Tournament" to air nationwide in June and July. Like most celebrity oriented sports events, the prize money goes to the charity of the winning teams choosing. Apparently Daniele has never picked up a golf club before, so Crista's lucky to not be on her team.

If you're interested in seeing how they do, you might want to check out the schedule to see what station it wil be aired on in your area.

Thanks to Sammie the Seal for the information.

We've been waiting a long time for this, and it's finally surfaced thanks to a bit of sleuthing. The cast changes for the 11th season of MADtv are as follows:

Departing: Spencer Kayden, Ron Pederson, Aries Spears, Paul Vogt

Returning: Ike Barinholtz, Frank Caliendo, Daniele Gaither, Keegan-Michael Key, Bobby Lee, Michael McDonald, Nicole Parker, Jordan Peele, Stephnie Weir

New Castmembers: Arden Myrin, Crista Flanagan

New Featured Players: Frank Caeti, Nicole Randall Johnson

So there you have it. Now, in addition to two Franks in the cast, we also have two Nicoles! Nicole Randall Johnson studied at the Groundlings and has made appearances in tv shows such as CSI, Reno 911!, Felicity and Monk. She also made a brief appearance in the current #1 movie in America, The 40 Year Old Virgin.

And this tiny spoiler comes from FOX.com, outlining what we can expect in the first episode:

For the momentous 11th season premiere, the late-night comedy lampoons Hugh Laurie (Michael McDonald) and the FOX hit HOUSE. The hilarity continues with parodies of Vince Vaughn (Ike Barinholtz) in “Wedding Crashers” and Morgan Freeman (Jordan Peele) in “March of the Penguins” on MADtv airing Saturday, Sept. 17 on FOX.

Don't forget to watch!

As most of you guys know by now, a number of season 10's biggest cast members will not be present for season 11. For some of them, it was a personal decision not to renew their contracts, while others were cut by the producers. Whatever the reason, this is a first glance at what the cast will look like as of right now:

Departing Cast: Ron Pederson, Aries Spears, Paul Vogt and Stephnie Weir.

Returning Cast: Ike Barinholtz, Frank Caliendo, Crista Flanagan, Daniele Gaither, Keegan-Michael Key, Bobby Lee, Michael McDonald, Nicole Parker and Jordan Peele.

In addition to the cast mentioned above, for the first time ever on MADtv there will be two African American female cast members. When I recently spoke to Debra Wilson, she informed me that a new black female has been added to the cast for season 11. She's got an improv background like Daniele and performed with Groundlings. I'm not sure of her name yet, but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough. I have not heard yet if Spencer has been added to the regular cast, but we'll find out very soon I'm sure.

Thanks to forum member mrekim as well as Debra Wilson and Mo Collins for updating us with this information.

The MADtv cast will be "special guest stars" at the 2004 Billboard Music Awards. The show airs live Wednesday December 8th at 8/7c on FOX. Bands scheduled to perform are Evanescence, Green Day, Gwen Stefani, Keith Urban with Sheryl Crow, Nelly, Usher, Mary J. Blige and more. Be there or be square!

The cast of Fox sketch comedy series "MADtv" will be seen in spoof segments dubbed "Billboard Request Live" throughout the show. Viewers can expect comical impersonations of such celebrities as Ja Rule, Ludacris, Anna Nicole Smith and Clay Aiken, among others.

EDIT: Media can be found here.

According to businesswire.com, Daniele Gaither and Paul Vogt will be judging a Halloween costume contest.

The heart of West Hollywood--Santa Monica Boulevard--will once again be pulsing with excitement on Halloween night as hundreds of thousands of Halloween revelers are expected to flock to the famous Boulevard for the 2004 West Hollywood Halloween Costume Carnaval on Sunday, October 31, 2004 from 6 p.m. to 12 midnight. This year, self-proclaimed "D-List" diva Kathy Griffin will be crowned Queen of the Carnaval. The Costume Carnaval will be held along Santa Monica Boulevard between Doheny Drive and La Cienega Boulevard. Admission is free.

The Costume Stage will feature the Costume Contest Grand Finals, a culmination of a week of costume contests held in the City of West Hollywood and throughout Southern California. Prizes will be awarded for Best Individual Costume, Best Group Costume and Most Creative Costume. The Costume Stage will be located on the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard and Larrabee. For the eighth year in a row, comedian Ann Farthing, the "Ultimate Mistress of Ceremonies," will provide color commentary for the costume contest. Guest Judges for the contest include cast members from MADTV, Daniele Gaither and Paul Vogt.

The West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval is the Los Angeles area's second largest event, second only to the Rose Parade. The West Hollywood Halloween Celebraton is one of the nation's largest gay and lesbian Halloween parties, attracting visitors from all over the country. Entertainment will include Klimaxx, Jody Watley, Nina Sky and the M-80's.